Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm going to jail i love you
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
