Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
