Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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