If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
