I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
