I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
