oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
