kristin has been a bad kristin
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
