if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
