Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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