he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
