**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he was CRYING into my vagina
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
