4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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