some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
