Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
