All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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