last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
