Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
