So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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