so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
she peed on how many people?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
