well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
