maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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