i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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