he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
