He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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