trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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