Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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