Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
