I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
