Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
