lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
