Your tits are I can't wait for
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm passing your future prison.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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