I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You can't just leave with hair like that
50% drunk capacity currently
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
