My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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