VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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