life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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