My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
