i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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