Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
