Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
i think my cat just said my name.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
