you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize
