Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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