we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
