A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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