Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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