When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
