? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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