ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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