it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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