worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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